Dear Virtually Every Women’s Sports Clothing Brand Ever,
We need to talk.
We need to talk urgently and we need to talk about pockets.
Why do you never include decent pockets in your running ranges? Half the time you don’t bother at all and on the rare occasions that you do, the pockets are only good for a gnat’s cock.
Yes, they really are that small and impractical.
When I go running, I like to take my front door key. You know, the thing that allows me to get back indoors. I suppose I *could* leave the door unlocked and invite burglars in, but I fear the inconvenience of dealing with a robbery is more inconvenient than clinging onto a key for dear life in the first place.
I like to take my phone. Not so I can use Runkeeper, but so that I have a way of phoning someone if something happens. I quite like running along the canal and if I slip and break my leg, I’d quite like to call someone for help. I know back in the old days, we didn’t have phones and would just be more careful, but this is 2018. Plus if I don’t have my phone, how on earth am I going to Instagram my run? Exactly.
On a longer run, I might want to take a small snack or some fuel. I probably want to take my debit card or some cash as well, in case I get stuck somewhere or want to buy a drink.
I know, I know. You are questioning whether I really *need* to take all this stuff with me. Maybe I don’t, but it’s not like it’s the kitchen sink, is it?
And yes, I know I could use a waist pack to carry my stuff, or use an armband for my phone, but they are irritating too. Waist packs are either uncomfortable or end up riding up under my boobs. Phone on arm isn’t exactly easy access either.
No doubt in your range, you do boast something with a pocket, but guess what? Can you get anything other than a single key removed from a keyring in it, or alternatively, a gnat’s cock? Ah, silence now.
Once upon a time, Ron Hill did a wonderful pair of running capris, marketed as trail capris. They had a zipped pocket. It could fit keys, a phone, cash, a snack and probably even the kitchen sink if you wanted to take it with you. Not that I’d want to run with a kitchen sink, but I digress. Oh, and they even had extra pockets on the thigh and elastic bands for gels and everything. They were great.
Now, I’m not saying you need to go and give us multiple Ikea style storage solutions for our stuff, but please, can we have a pocket we can actually fit some stuff in?
Pretty colours and patterns are great.
But I want pockets!