I’m 30 years old and Rose is 2 next month. Where did that time go? I don’t blog much about her or being a mum because that’s not what I want to write about. Yes, I’m a mother. But I’m also me. I still bowl, I still run. Sometimes I just want to drink all the wine and my cuddly penguin lives on my bed.
I can’t really get interested in discussions about poo and reward charts. That’s just not me. I’m glad that you’re delighted that your genius 6 week old has changed his nappy on his own and that you wish to discuss it at length, but my eyes will glaze over. Sorry. I’m not very good at this mumsy lark.
When I was pregnant, I had this incredible aspiration of being a “supermum”. I was going to run through pregnancy and then I was going to ping back into shape and Rose would be dressed in matching outfits, I wasn’t going to overdo it on Facebook and I was going to run a marathon in a PB time by the end of the year, the house would be spotless and I’d have labelled pots of home cooked meals in the freezer for Rose, in the event of not managing to cook that day.
You know those mums who always look perfectly turned out? They get up, run before breakfast, do some yoga, clean the house, bake a cake, run a business and are all round perfect. All whilst bringing up a perfect, well-balanced child. That was going to be me.
I’m sitting here on the sofa at the moment, lamenting the fact that I haven’t been for a run. I was intending to go out for an easy 5k this morning before going over to Heathrow to get my bowling balls drilled. In between dodgy internet stopping me from doing a bit of work, a stroppy toddler, I somehow wasted 3 hours and didn’t get out.
It’s now gone 9pm and cold and dark and I’m flipping exhausted and all I’ve done today is eat a carvery for dinner and get my bowling balls drilled. Ok, so I also had a game to test out the fit, but still, it’s not much exercise.
How do all these other mums do it?
I take my hat off to you all, I really do. I wish I could be like you.
But I’m a stroppy, exhausted mum of one feeling I’m treading water and sometimes, despite my best laid plans, I don’t manage to do everything.
Take a step back. Breathe. Is there food on the table and is the child safe?
Tomorrow is another day. Go out and run then. I’m not perfect and I’m not a supermum and hey, whilst we’re at it, I still have some baby weight, but you know what?
And that’s ok.